Knot Gneiss Page 4

  “I will bring him along when I visit Jumper,” Eris said, understanding perfectly.

  “But won’t he be surprised?”

  “Not unpleasantly. In seven minutes, when he falls asleep, I’ll conjure him back to his own bed without waking him. He’ll be satisfied.”

  That seemed likely. The Demoness understood almost too perfectly. “Thank you.”

  Eris turned to Jumper. “For this excursion, you’ll need some abilities. I’ll give you form and size changing, and of course you’ll be invulnerable to injury. It’s a secret mission, so you should normally travel small.”

  “But I won’t be able to keep her pace in my natural size,” Jumper protested.

  “You’ll ride in her hair, and bite the head off any bugs there,” Eris said with half a smile. “No one will notice.”

  “My hair?” Wenda asked, alarmed.

  “Don’t worry; he won’t poop in it,” the Demoness reassured her. “In fact, he’ll keep it in order for you. Just make sure he gets off before he assumes large size, whether spider or human.”

  Wenda realized that the Demoness was being humorous, in her fashion. “Thank you,” she said weakly.

  Then she was back by the gourd, alone. Eris had conjured them there. Demons were not limited to single talents; they could do anything they chose. But they tried not to interfere with the internal affairs of other Demons, so Eris was staying out of Xanth proper.

  Where was Jumper? She looked around.

  I am here, in your hair. It was Jumper’s voice, sounding in her head. She gave me telepathy, too, so we could communicate privately.

  “It must be nice having such a partner,” Wenda said, somewhat disgruntled. She had encountered more than one Demon in her day, but they tended to unnerve her. They had such absolute, overwhelming power, and so little conscience.

  Actually she’s wonderful. She has dedicated her present life to making me happy. That’s why she let me go on your Quest. She knew I wanted to travel with you again. Without her, I would have died of old age six months ago. Now I’m virtually immortal. She doesn’t want it to get dull.

  “Do Demons get bored?” she asked as she returned to the campsite and fetched the bicycle. She didn’t get on it, because she hadn’t yet decided where to go.

  Definitely. That’s why they spend so much effort making bets for status with each other. It lends a little meaning to their dull existence.

  She was curious, so she asked. “Do you really wear her out with constant physical attention?”

  I don’t think so. She devotes only about one percent of her attention to me. If I demand too much, such as two percent, she becomes restive.

  “Restive? What does she do?”

  She turns into a literal cold fish, in the midst of whatever.

  Wenda couldn’t help laughing. The mental image of him in handsome human-male form intimately embracing a giant cold fish was too much. She almost regretted that she couldn’t do that when Charming wanted to have at her when she was sound asleep at midnight. What a surprise!

  What next? Jumper asked.

  “I have to find other Companions, until I have five or six. They told me I should ask Princess Ida, but I don’t think I have the nerve.”

  There must be someone else, he agreed. Such as some friend you meet along the way.

  “Meryl!” she exclaimed.

  Who?

  “Meryl Winged Mermaid. She even said she’d like to be in just such a mission. I’ll summon her now.”

  I don’t think I know her.

  “I met her during a storm. She’s nice. She gave me a token to summon her.” She brought it out, put it to her mouth, and bit on it.

  The token quivered, and grew warm. It had evidently been activated. I sense someone’s mind orienting on this spot, Jumper thought.

  “Yes. That will be her, flying here. Oh, I’m so glad I remembered. She will be good company.”

  You will have to introduce her to me carefully. She may not be at ease with spiders.

  Wenda hadn’t thought of that. “Maybe you should assume normal-sized human-male form for that.”

  Coming up. She felt him jump from her head. It was a fine long jump, as befitted a jumping spider. He landed on the ground before her, and became a full-sized handsome man.

  “Oh!” Wenda said, embarrassed. Because he was nude. Naturally he lacked clothing in his spider form.

  Jumper looked down at himself. “Oops. I’ll have to find a shoe tree, pants tree, and shirt tree.” He was speaking with sound now, no longer needing the telepathy.

  “I can find them,” she said. She parked the bike and returned to the forest. In two and a half moments she found exactly those trees and blushingly helped fit him with a suitable outfit.

  “This reminds me of the first time I assumed manform,” he said. “And those naughty twins, Princesses Dawn and Eve, took turns teasing me with their panties.”

  “I remember. They made you … react.”

  “Yes. Embarrassingly. You never teased me like that.”

  “I did not find it funny.”

  “I liked you for that. You were only half a woman, but a whole friend.”

  “You were a spider, and a friend.”

  “We are still friends.”

  “Yes,” she agreed simply. It was so good to be with him again, sharing understandings.

  They returned to the camp. “There’s something flying in,” Jumper said, squinting.

  “That must be Meryl.”

  So it was. The mermaid fluttered to a neat landing beside the bicycle. “You summoned me,” she said breathlessly.

  “Yes,” Wenda agreed. “I decided to attempt the Quest after all. This is my friend, Jumper Spider.”

  “All I see is a freaked-out man.”

  Wenda looked. Jumper was standing there, frozen.

  “Oh, you’re bare!” she exclaimed, realizing.

  “I can’t fly well in clothing. I didn’t realize you would not be alone.”

  “Let me fetch you some clothing,” Wenda said.

  “Oh, I have my outfit in my purse.” The purse appeared, and disgorged a surprising volume of clothing. Soon Meryl was demurely clothed. She leaned against the fence to maintain an upright posture.

  Wenda snapped her fingers by Jumper’s ear. He blinked, not aware of the passage of time. “This is my friend Meryl Winged Mermaid,” she said.

  “Hello, Meryl,” he responded automatically.

  “And this is my friend Jumper, the Prince of Spiders,” Wenda continued.

  “Hello, Prince Jumper,” Meryl said.

  “Oh, I’m not really a prince,” he protested.

  “Yes he is,” Wenda said. “We elected him prince, so he could marry the Demoness Eris and free her from confinement. I understand they are very happy together.”

  Meryl was amazed. “Did I hear a capital D?”

  “Yes,” Wenda said. “She’s a Dwarf Demon, parallel to Demon Pluto. It’s a long story.”

  “It must be,” Meryl agreed, seriously impressed.

  Wenda took a deep breath. “Now I have to see if I can recruit the Princess Ida as a Companion. I really don’t see why she would bother, but Wira said the Good Magician had recommended her. I suppose at worst she can say no.”

  “A princess!” Meryl repeated, awed. “That Knot must be really important!”

  “It is, because it’s dangerous,” Wenda agreed. “If bad folk get it, they could use chips of it to terrify others into submission. So we have to get it to the Good Magician’s Castle before that can happen.”

  “Maybe Princess Ida knows something about it,” Meryl said.

  “I suppose so,” Wenda agreed. “The Good Magician surely had a reason for recommending her.”

  “So we need to go to Castle Roogna,” Jumper said. “Maybe Princess Dawn or Eve will be there.”

  “You like them,” Wenda said teasingly.

  “Yes. Dawn was the one who got the idea to make me a prince, and Eve …”<
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  “I heard that ellipsis,” Meryl said. “That’s always significant and usually interesting. What’s in it? Something sexy?”

  “There’s really no need to go into that,” Jumper said uncomfortably.

  “And such a demurral means it’s really interesting,” Meryl said. “And probably romantic. I’m a fan of romance. You have to tell us.”

  Now Wenda was curious. As far as she knew, the twin Princesses had delighted in teasing Jumper, and they really were his friends, but it had never gone further than that. “What is it?” she asked.

  “She seduced me,” he said, blushing.

  This was news. “Eve did that?”

  “It was when we feared the mission was lost. She faced the prospect of becoming the plaything of the Demon Pluto.”

  “How was she?” Meryl asked mischievously.

  “She was every man’s desire. I’m really a spider, but in manform …” He shook his head. “I know she’s a Princess, and a Sorceress, but she’s most of all a woman, to me.”

  “What of Eris?” Wenda asked sharply, suppressing a touch of illicit jealousy. She always liked Jumper, and half wished that she had been the one to seduce him.

  “She’s everything else. She understands.”

  Wenda realized that they had gone too far. It was not their business. So she changed the subject. “We must be on our way.”

  “I’ll change,” Jumper said. He disappeared, his clothing collapsing in a heap.

  “Oh!” Meryl said.

  “His natural form is a small jumping spider,” Wenda explained, as she felt Jumper land on her hair. “He’s riding with me.” She mounted the bicycle.

  “I’ll fly, of course,” Meryl said. “Is it all right to strip?”

  “It’s all right,” Wenda said. “He doesn’t freak out when he’s a spider.”

  I freaked out? Jumper’s thought came.

  “Yes,” she murmured subvocally, so as not to confuse Meryl as she picked up and folded Jumper’s new clothes. She packed them in her knapsack for future use. “When she flew in she was bare-breasted.”

  That would do it, he agreed. I have gotten used to Eris in bare human form, but new breasts would catch me unprepared. I thought she appeared rather suddenly.

  Meanwhile Meryl was disrobing and packing her clothing. She spread her wings and lifted from the ground. “I will track you,” she called as she sailed up into the sky.

  “Agreed,” Wenda called back as she put her feet on the petals. The bike moved smoothly forward.

  Actually I do admire her form, Jumper thought.

  “But it doesn’t freak you out.”

  Correct. My natural form provides me some objectivity about human things.

  Castle Roogna was a reasonable distance away, but Wenda was sure they would make good progress. She loved traveling like this: swiftly and smoothly, and with compatible company. If only she didn’t have these foolish notions. Like resenting what a princess did with a friend.

  You could have seduced me too, if you had tried, Jumper thought. But I’m glad you didn’t try. I’d rather just be your friend.

  And just like that, her trace of jealousy dissipated. She had forgotten that his new telepathy meant that he was reading her thoughts. “Thank you,” she murmured.

  Welcome.

  They did make good progress, but did not quite reach Castle Roogna before the day expired. Wenda consulted with her Companions, and they agreed to camp for the night.

  Wenda pulled her bike into the camp. Meryl dropped down from the sky. Jumper jumped out of Wenda’s hair, becoming giant-spider sized.

  “Eeeeek!!” Meryl screamed, managing five E’s and two exclamation points. She was evidently upset. “A big hairy spider!”

  “It’s just Jumper,” Wenda told her. “In giant-spider form. So we can see him, and not step on him.”

  “I’m afraid he’ll eat me!”

  It seemed it would take a while for Meryl to get used to Jumper in this form. “Maybe you’d better assume manform,” Wenda suggested.

  Jumper became a man. And promptly freaked out.

  “Maybe you’d better put your clothing on,” Wenda suggested to Meryl.

  “What about him?” the mermaid demanded. “Now he’s a big hairy bare man.”

  “I will dress him,” Wenda said, quickly unpacking Jumper’s clothing.

  Soon both Companions were clothed and able to relate to each other. Form and clothing made all the difference.

  They went to the shelter. There were two human beds and a pile of hay. But there were three of them.

  “I don’t need a bed,” Jumper said. “I can resume spider form.”

  But Meryl was already trying to stifle a burgeoning eeek. She wasn’t ready to share lodging with a giant spider.

  “I still don’t need a bed,” Jumper said. “I’ll sleep on the hay in human form.”

  That seemed to be a reasonable compromise. Already Wenda was coming to appreciate the complications of having Companions.

  They washed in the local lake, taking turns so that neither Jumper nor Meryl would freak out. They harvested pies and milkweed pods for supper.

  Then there was a whirring as a small bird flew in and landed. “Cheep!” he exclaimed, seeing them.

  “We were here first,” Meryl informed the bird. “Go perch on a branch.”

  But the bird refused to settle. He stood on the ground and continued cheeping at them. What did he want?

  “The gift of tongues,” Jumper said. “You gave it to me, Wenda, and it made all the difference. Can you get some for him, so he can tell us what’s on his mind?”

  Wenda hurried into the forest. She quickly found a clump of the tonguelike plants, and harvested a small one. She brought it back and offered it to the bird.

  The bird took it into his beak. “Thank you, woodwife,” he said. “That’s what I need.”

  “Who are you, and what is your business here?” she asked.

  “I am Dipper Swimming Bird. I fly, run, and swim. The Good Magician sent me to join your party.”

  “He sent you!” Wenda exclaimed, surprised. “Why?”

  “I asked him how I could get meaning in my life. He told me to become one of your Companions, at least for a while. So I came.”

  “How can you help us?” Meryl asked.

  “I don’t know. But I’ll try.”

  That seemed to be it. They had another Companion, if not exactly by mutual choice. At least Dipper would not need a bed; he was satisfied to perch on a convenient rung.

  They were about to settle down for the night, when two more people appeared. “Charming!” Wenda cried joyfully.

  “Eris!” Jumper cried similarly.

  The Demoness had promised to visit and bring Charming too; that had slipped Wenda’s mind for the moment. She was about to try to explain to Meryl, but then she found herself alone with Charming in a curtained room sectioned around a bed. He kissed her and caught hold of her backside. First things first, of course.

  In seven minutes he was asleep beside her. Then the curtains faded and he was gone. She saw that Jumper was similarly asleep on the other bed. Eris was gone too.

  “Fascinating,” Meryl said. “What happened?”

  “I think we blinked,” Dipper said. “Suddenly they were asleep on the beds.”

  Wenda realized that the Demoness had frozen time for the remaining two. They did not know the whole or even the half or quarter what had happened. Maybe that was just as well. “I think they are just trying out the beds,” she said. “I will tell Jumper to move.”

  She went and touched Jumper’s shoulder, waking him. “You said you’d use the hay,” she reminded him.

  “Oh. Yes,” he agreed, catching on. Then he smiled. “There was a time when you would have said ‘Yew said yew’d yews the hay.’ I miss that accent.”

  “So do I. I’ll be sure to take it back when the mission is done.”

  “Something happened,” Meryl said suspiciously.

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nbsp; It seemed better to explain. “Jumper and I are married. Our spouses made conjugal visits. You and Dipper were suspended for the duration.”

  “Conjugal visits!”

  “Spouses get restive if neglected,” Jumper said.

  “I wish I had an ardent spouse,” Meryl said.

  “Quests can be good for meeting potential spouses. Wenda and I met ours last year during my Quest.”

  “Just what was your Quest?”

  “I had to splice together the cable that brings the magic of gravity from Mundania. Wenda and the Princesses Dawn and Eve helped. It was quite a challenge.”

  “And you met the Demoness on the way?”

  “Yes. It was a convoluted adventure.”

  Meryl shrugged. “Maybe there’ll be a convolution for me along the way.”

  “It’s certainly possible,” Wenda said. “Now we need to get to sleep. We may have a big day tomorrow.”

  They did that without further ceremony.

  3

  PRINCESS IDA

  In the morning, after a bit of maneuvering so that neither Jumper nor Meryl saw the other bare, they washed, breakfasted, and resumed travel.

  Jumper turned back to a small spider and jumped to Wenda’s hair. Wenda packed his fallen clothes and got on her bicycle. Meryl and Dipper flew into the sky. They were on their way.

  But still Wenda wondered: How could Princess Ida, a mature woman of forty-one and a Sorceress, possibly be interested in joining such a motley crew? A woodwife, a spider, a flying mermaid, and a swimming bird. None of them were fully human, while Ida was completely human, and the twin sister of King Ivy. It seemed impossible.

  Yet the Good Magician had said to ask her. He had to know something Wenda did not.

  The high turrets of Castle Roogna came into view. Wenda quailed, but kept cycling. All she could do was ask.

  They came to the orchard surrounding the castle. Meryl and Dipper flew down to join them. Meryl caught hold of Wenda’s bike for support, and Dipper perched on her shoulder. Evidently the two had gotten to know each other during the flight, and were getting along well.