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As the game went on, and the hullabaloo of the approaching horde grew, Dolph had a disreputable thought: suppose Metria was having her idea of fun with them? Suppose she had put the noose somewhere else so that it would never be found no matter how long they dug—until, distracted by that, they allowed themselves to be caught by the horde? What a laugh!
Yet the demoness knew that Dolph alone could hold off the horde. He had done so before, by assuming the form of the Gap Dragon. He could do it by becoming a huge sphinx, threatening to step on them, or an invisible giant, whose mere stink would gag them, or a salamander, setting fire to them. So the horde was no longer a real threat. So it made no sense for Metria to do that. She would get more amusement from watching the party settle its conflict of interests in a civilized manner. Demons did not understand civilization, having none themselves. She would also be entertained if Godiva won, because then he would have to help take Che to Goblin Mountain, and he wouldn't like that at all, and she knew that. How fascinating she found his trials of conscience!
Could she have somehow rigged it so that Godiva would win, then? Dolph didn't see how. So he just had to assume that she was playing it straight, and hope.
Electra came up with something. She squealed with girlish excitement—she was sort of cute when she did that, he noticed with mild surprise—and brought up her stick. There was something hanging on it. But it was a root.
Play continued. Then Godiva put in her stick—and Sammy the cat jumped. It was so sudden that it startled them all. He landed on the stick, knocking it out of Godiva's hand. The end flipped up—and on it was the noose.
"See?" Jenny Elf said. "He only looked asleep. He doesn't move when he doesn't have to. He found the stick with the noose!"
He had indeed. And Godiva had won the game. They couldn't even signal the other search parties, because that would interfere with delivering Che to the goblin home.
"All right," Dolph said heavily. "It was the deal. We'll help you go to Goblin Mountain. But that was just the deal Nada and Electra made with you. Che's mother didn't, and she's going to be coming to rescue her foal, no matter what."
"That can't be helped," the gobliness said. "I will worry about it when we get to the mountain. Right now I have to figure out the best route."
"North," Metria said.
Godiva glared at her. "What do you care, demoness? What's your motive to help us at all?"
"She finds it entertaining," Dolph said. "So far she's told the truth."
"Why go north when Goblin Mountain is east?"
"Because the goblins of the horde are coming in from east and west, and there's more of them to the south."
Indeed, the noise was now almost deafeningly loud. "North it is," Godiva said curtly. "But we've been up all night and on our feet. We can't make good time."
"I could carry some of you," Dolph said. "If I assumed roc form, if I had clearance to fly. But I can't take off in this jungle."
"Turn sphinx, and we'll ride on your back," Nada said.
Anything she asked him made immediate sense. There were both winged and wingless sphinxes, as there were with the dragons, but the wingless ones were much larger. He changed to monstrous landbound sphinx form and lay slowly down, so that they could climb up on his back. Even so, it was a struggle. Nada finally assumed her largest serpent form, which was still much smaller than the sphinx, and coiled in such a way as to form a series of tiers that the others could climb until they stepped off on his back.
Che and Jenny went first, she carrying Sammy, followed by Godiva and her three henchmen. All of them stood about the same height, though they were centaur, elf, and goblins. Then Electra took hold of Nada's head and held it while Nada became a small snake in her hands. They were all aboard.
Just in time. The first of the horde goblins burst into view, screaming.
Dolph could not change, because he was carrying nine people, counting Sammy as a people; he didn't want to dump them. But it was no easy thing to get up suddenly, either, because he didn't want to cause them to slide off his back. So he labored slowly, and hoped that not too many goblins arrived too soon.
The first goblin charged right up to Dolph's haunch. "They're here!" he yelled. "Riding a stinks!"
"That's sphinx!" Dolph rumbled, annoyed.
"You heard me the first time, bulge-bottom!" the goblin said, holding his nose. Then the goblin flew into the air, waving his arms and legs. What was happening?
"Godiva's using her magic wand," Electra explained, evidently catching on to his confusion. "She can loft folk here and there."
A magic wand. That was interesting. How did a goblin come to have something like that?
Another goblin charged in. In a moment this one too was flying faster and enjoying it less. Godiva had no mercy on her own kind! But if she could handle only one at a time, that wand wouldn't help much when the main body of the horde arrived. That could explain how Che had gotten taken by the horde in the first place.
Dolph finally made it to his feet. Now he could do something about the goblins himself. But he didn't want to step on them; they would squish under his feet and be all messy. So he simply forged forward, shoving trees out of the way, and left the goblins behind.
The horde did not give up. The goblins followed, more and more of them appearing as they came in from left and right. Dolph could see them back there when he turned his head. But all they had was sticks and stones, and there were not enough to break his bones. So he moved slowly onward, though to the goblins it was a swift pace.
"Now we can sleep," Electra said. "What a relief!"
"What a relief!" Godiva echoed.
Soon all of them were silent. They were sleeping. Dolph had been up all night, too, but he couldn't sleep. Well, maybe his turn would come later.
"Pretty dull, eh?"
It was Media. For once he was glad of her company. It would help keep him alert. But he knew better than to let her know that. "Are you still here?" he asked with simulated irritation. "Everything's been decided, so you might as well float off by yourself."
"Nothing's been decided," she asserted. "Once you deliver the sacrificial foal to the gobs, the real fun will begin. Just wait till the winged monsters arrive!"
"What winged monsters?" he asked, looking nervously around. A flying dragon could swoop low on a strafing run and toast his passengers. That would be a problem.
"The ones Cheiron Centaur is gathering to rescue his foal. They won't equivocate around, you know."
"They won't what?"
"Sidestep, hedge, weasel, shuffle, feline paws—"
"Pussyfoot?"
"Whatever. They will demolish that Goblin Mountain tunnel by tunnel. That's a show I wouldn't miss for anything!"
She was probably right. Chex Centaur was a relatively gentle creature, seldom getting her tail in an uproar. But her mate, Cheiron, was a stallion, and he brooked little if any interference in his business. His foal was certainly his business! "There will be abyss to pay!" Dolph muttered.
"What to pay?"
"Blazes, underworld, Hades—"
"Oh no you don't!" she said, laughing. "You won't get me to tell you that bad word you want! I know you don't know it."
"Darn!" he swore.
"Mend, sew, repair?" she asked solicitously.
"Will you go away, you—you whatever?!"
"Of course not, sweetie. I love tormenting you. I think I'll drop in on your wedding night and watch you try to figure out how to summon the stork."
"Stork?"
"That's how you consummate a marriage, innocent boy. It doesn't really count until you contact the stork."
"But I don't know how to do that!"
"That's why it should be rare entertainment."
Dolph lumbered on, no longer quite as satisfied with his success in making her stay. How he wished he could pass that magic barrier and become adult, so he could learn everything in the Adult Conspiracy! Then the demoness wouldn't be able to tease him so crue
lly.
But first he would have to get married, and that was worse. Oh, he would like to marry Nada, but the thought of seeing Electra die appalled him. Yet if he married her and lost Nada, his heart would break. Time was crunching on as determinedly as his big sphinx feet, but he was no closer to an answer than he had been six years ago when he had first gotten betrothed to the two girls. This news about having to summon the stork just made it worse, Nada knew the secret, but not Electra. But he feared Nada wouldn't tell him. After all, she hadn't told him until now; why should she change her mind then? Assuming he found some way to get around the problem of Electra's situation.
It was solid day when he tromped up to the south bank of the With-a-Cookee River. He was going to splash on through it, but its bottom turned out to be the muckiest muck he could imagine, probably dough left over from the Half-Baked Bog, and he was afraid his legs would sink in like deep pilings and be permanently mired. So he ground to a slow halt.
Nada woke. "Oh, the river!" she said, surprised.
"What did you expect, a desert?" Metria asked in Dolph's voice.
"What?" Nada asked, surprised at hearing that tone from him.
"That wasn't me!" Dolph cried.
"That is, it wasn't what I meant to say," the demoness said immediately, using his voice again. "I meant to say that only the very most stupid hammer would—"
"Stupid what?" Nada asked.
"Vice, clamp, pliers, grip—"
"Wrench?"
"Yes. No, not quite—"
"Wench, Metria?"
"Wench! That's it! Only the very most stupid wench would confuse a river with a desert. So you can just—uh-oh." For the demoness had realized that Nada had called her by name. She departed in a puff of irritated smoke.
"I knew it wasn't you, Dolph," Nada said. "I heard how she was teasing you, before."
"I'm glad," Dolph said, relieved. "Now I have to figure out how to cross the river. The muck is too deep."
"Did you get any sleep last night?" Nada asked solicitously.
"No." How nice it was to have her interested!
"Then I think you had better get some. So why don't you become a whaleboat and drift down the river for a few hours? I understand it flows generally northward from here, so your direction will be right, and we can all relax and still keep moving."
"That's a great notion, Nada!" he exclaimed. "Hang on!" He changed into whaleboat form, slowly, so as not to dislodge the others. Soon the new form was complete: a giant flat fish (or something; he had never been quite sure what a whale was) with a hollow back that floated serenely on the placid water. His side flippers and rear flukes enabled him to swim as rapidly as he wanted, but he didn't have to, because his nose was a hole in the back of his flat head that would never sink under the water no matter how hard he slept.
"You're welcome, Dolph," Nada said. "I'll stay awake now and keep an eye on our course; I got some sleep last night, so I'm better off than the rest of you. I'll wake you if anything happens."
"Thanks, Nada!" How he loved her! She was just the most lovely and sensible and princessly person he knew, always knowing the right thing to do, and doing it. It had been a great day when he had gotten betrothed to her.
"You're welcome, Dolph," she said. She sounded a little sad. That reminded him that she didn't love him. Oh, she would marry him if he chose her, because she had given her word and a princess never broke her word, but her heart would not be in it. She was nice to him because that was the proper thing for a Betrothee to be. He knew he should do the decent thing and not marry her. But he wasn't sure he could.
There was a clamor at the bank. The goblins of the horde had arrived! Well, too bad for them; they could not reach him or his passengers, out here in the middle of the river. They could follow along the bank all they wanted; it would do them no good.
Satisfied, he let himself drift off to sleep.
Dolph drifted down the river, guided occasionally by the delicious touch of Nada's hand on his nose, so that he did not get stuck in a cul-de-sac. Cul-de-sacs were nasty offshoots which ended in sacks; once something floated into one, the drawstring would pull it closed, and it would eat whatever it had caught. Of course Dolph could change into something else and escape it, but then all the folk riding on him would get dunked. It was better this way, even apart from the simple delight of having Nada's attention.
Now and then he heard the clamor of the goblins as they raged at the shore. The three male goblins with Godiva (and wasn't she a fascinating creature, even if she was almost old enough to be somebody's mother!) took pleasure in standing halfway tall and making gestures at those on the shore. Dolph, wafting in and out of his snooze, picked up intriguing bits of dialogue.
"What does that gesture mean, Moron?" Jenny Elf inquired. It seemed that now that they were working together, the elf and the centaur foal got along well enough with these four goblins. Dolph gathered that though the goblins had abducted Che, they had not really mistreated him, only hobbled him so he couldn't get away. He had been unhappy at the time, but recognized that they were just doing a job.
"Gesture?" Moron asked.
"With the finger. Like this."
Dolph hadn't realized that male goblins could blush, but this one did, for Dolph felt Moron's big feet turn burning hot. "Uh, I don't know," the goblin said.
"But you made that gesture to the goblins on the land, and they threw rocks at us," the elf persisted. "I'm glad we're out of reach of their rocks, but that certainly must have been a magic gesture, and I wonder if I could learn it."
"I don't think so," Moron said. "Girls don't use that magic."
"Oh, you mean it doesn't work for girls?"
At this point Godiva crossed over to join them. "Do you have a problem?" she inquired.
"I just wanted to know how to do this gesture," Jenny said innocently.
Godiva must have paled or at least become light-headed, because Dolph felt her weight diminish. "Don't use that gesture!" she snapped at Moron. "Don't you know this girl is underage? Do you think things are different in her tribe just because they have pointed ears? You're in violation of the Adult Conspiracy."
"But they were doing it to us first!" Moron protested. "We couldn't just let them get away with it!"
"Then answer them with this gesture," Godiva said. She faced out and made some kind of signal. Dolph couldn't see what she did, but he saw the effect. Twenty fierce goblins at the shore stiffened, and half of them fell face first into the water, where shellfish shelled them. The three male goblins on the whaleboat fainted.
"I didn't see that," Jenny Elf said. "What—?"
"You weren't meant to, dear," Godiva replied.
"But I certainly am curious what—" Dolph was curious too. Whatever it was, it had twenty times the effect of what the male goblins had been doing.
"Not until you are adult," the gobliness said firmly.
Jenny sighed. So did Dolph. The Adult Conspiracy was a terrible thing.
Later they stopped at Lake Tsoda Popka, and the passengers dipped out cups of the fizzly sweet drink to go with the cookies they had picked. Dolph snaked out his tongue, trying to latch on to a cookie from a plant by the bank, but couldn't reach it, so had to be satisfied with a drink of the pop. Then Electra caught on, and started dropping him cookies. She was often thoughtful that way, always being a good companion and friend. He liked her a lot, but of course she was hardly the shadow of the romantic figure Nada was.
They drifted on. Lake Tsoda Popka turned out to be not so much a single body of pop, but a popped-apart cluster of lakelets, each a different flavor. Dolph made a mental note: he wanted to return here some time after this adventure was over and royally oink out. He knew Nada wouldn't do it, but Electra would come with him and even get into a cookie fight with him. Cookie fights were one of those pleasures only the young really appreciated. Maybe if they brought bottles, they could dip them full of tsoda, shake them violently, and squirt each other mercilessly. Oh, what joy!
The three male goblins recovered enough to play same games of godo with Che and Jenny, using leftover cookie crumbs in lieu of dirt. Nada and Godiva got into a discussion about the proper care of hair that Dolph tuned out; he liked to look at their swirling tresses, but its maintenance didn't interest him at all. Sammy Cat snoozed throughout, seeming to be dedicated to the proposition that speed killed and the less motion the better. Electra took the helm, guiding him, and he knew better than to object because she wasn't Nada. The demoness Metria faded in and out, observing and seeking to sow mischief in little ways, but the others had caught on to her and generally couldn't be fooled. Overall it was a peaceful and pleasant voyage.
When the river began turning grandly to the west, looking for the sea, because all rivers had a death wish and sought to drown themselves in seas or lakes, they had to leave it. They would have to go north, then around the top of the Elements, then south to Goblin Mountain. That was beside the Element of Earth. South of that, beside the Element of Air, was Mount Etamin, where Drago Dragon lived—and the naga folk. Too bad they weren't going to that mountain, for Dolph would have loved to meet Naga's folks again, and she would have loved to be reunioned with them.
"What?"
"Rejoined, rejunctioned, remerged—"
"Reunited?"
"Whatever." Then he snapped out of it and realized that he had daydreamed a dialogue with Metria. He caught a glimpse of invisible Mare Imbri galloping away. Her pranks were always harmless and usually pleasant. Imbri had been a night mare, but had lost the taste for it when she acquired half a soul, and now was happier as a day mare.
Dolph resumed sphinx form, now rested, and again trudged in his slow yet ground-covering way north, with the others on his back. Two small dragons spied him and looped down to investigate, perhaps thinking of entertaining themselves with some innocent strafing, but Godiva waved her wand at them and they almost fell out of the air. It seemed that her wand could make anything fly, and when directed against a creature who was already flying, it messed things up. Dolph remembered how Chex made herself light with flicks of her tail; if she overdid it, she could have trouble too. Light things didn't necessarily like to be made lighter.