The Color of Her Panties Read online

  "But the spectacles—I can't wear them at home, and I can't see well enough without them to do anything. That would disqualify me immediately."

  "I know that too, dear. But there are other ways. We must find you some magic contact lenses."

  At this point Chex cut in. "We have been searching for a suitable lens bush for two years, but there seems to have been a blight on them."

  Godiva sighed. "I was afraid of that. Then there is only one thing to do: we must take her to the Good Magician to find out how she can nullify this liability."

  "Wait, Mother," Gwenny said. "You mustn't do this for me."

  "But, dear, time is short. There is only one month before the ascension of the new chief. Only the Good Magician can possibly know where contact lenses may be obtained immediately."

  "I agree, Mother. But I must go to him myself. If I am unable to do that much without adult help, how can I ever be chief?"

  "She is correct, Godiva," Chex said. "She must rise to her own challenges, now. They will not allow you to assist her at Goblin Mountain, and the challenge of reaching the Good Magician is surely less arduous. She must have practice in the intervening time, little as it may be."

  The gobliness was silent in an appalled way. Centaur logic was impossible to refute.

  "But I think it would be legitimate for her companion to accompany her," Chex continued.

  "But Che is even younger," Godiva said. "The danger—"

  "The winged monsters will protect him as one of their own."

  Godiva nodded. "We have seen the manner of that protection."

  Gwenny knew it was all right, then. Recently she had been coming to understand some of the nuances of adult dialogue, which were sometimes more subtle than children appreciated. The centaur had in effect said that the winged monsters would take care of Che and his companion, which was Gwenny herself. Chex herself was a winged monster, and she had been taking care of both of them all along. Godiva had acknowledged it: she was complimenting Chex on it.

  So they would allow Gwenny and Che to travel by themselves to see the Good Magician. If anything really bad threatened, the winged monsters, all of whom had taken an oath to protect Che, would intervene. That intervention could be formidable; they had at one time almost destroyed Goblin Mountain itself when they had thought Che was captive there.

  "We'll start tomorrow," Gwenny said. "We can use the magic paths and Grandam Chem's map." Actually that would be a copy, for Chem Centaur's maps manifested in air. They were extremely accurate.

  So it was decided. Godiva Goblin agreed to stay the night, and in the morning they would go their separate ways, for the nonce. Godiva had to keep an eye on things at Goblin Mountain, until the new chief took office. With luck and management, that chief would be Gwenny.

  Che and Jenny Elf arrived back from the field. Gwenny explained about her need to go to see the Good Magician, and how it was all right for Che to come along.

  "But what about Jenny?" he asked.

  Gwenny hadn't thought of that. Of course she didn't want to leave Jenny Elf behind! Jenny had been Che's friend before he came to Goblin Mountain, and she had been Gwenny's friend too. "Jenny, too, if she wants to come," she agreed.

  "Of course I want to come!" Jenny said. "I'd like to see the Good Magician's castle when I'm not distracted."

  "Maybe he can tell you how to get back to the World of Two Moons," Gwenny said.

  "Yes, maybe he could," Jenny agreed. But she did not seem completely excited by the prospect.

  In the morning they bid farewell to Che's sire and dam, and to Gwenny's mother. Then Godiva took one path, heading east toward Goblin Mountain, and the three of them took another, heading south toward the Gap Chasm and the Good Magician's castle. The copy of Chem's map showed that they could use the invisible bridge to cross the Gap and then go right on down to the castle. Then they would have three challenges to surmount before they could get into the castle, and after that—

  "Oops," Gwenny said. "I will have to give a year's service to the Good Magician, for his Answer to my Question, but I have only a month before I must be chief."

  "Then I will ask on your behalf," Che said.

  "No, I will," Jenny Elf said. Her cat, Sammy, was riding in her backpack. "You two must stay together."

  "But—" Gwenny started to protest. Then she realized that this was help she needed, and that perhaps Jenny had looked ahead and realized that their juvenile friendship could not endure beyond the settlement of the chiefship. Gwenny would then either be chief, with its pressing responsibilities, or dead. In either case, she could not truly be with Jenny. So their separation was coming, regardless. It was not as if service to the Good Magician was onerous; the word was that often it was as beneficial for the person as for the Magician. "Thank you, Jenny." There was more to be said, but she couldn't figure out how to phrase it.

  They walked down the path, not hurrying. They had a fair way to go, and there was no point in wearing themselves out. Also, perhaps, they were not eager to separate, and that separation could occur at any time after they reached the castle. This was the last of their carefree association.

  The abode of the winged centaurs was not far from the Gap Chasm. They reached it in the afternoon. The path led right up to it, and stopped. There was nothing but the great deep awesome expanse of the Gap ahead.

  Che looked at the map. "The invisible bridge is supposed to be right here."

  "I don't see it," Jenny said, smiling.

  He flicked her hair with the tip of his tail, making it float about her head. "We must verify its location, and cross, making sure no creature is below it."

  "What does it matter whether there is anyone below?" Jenny asked. "I mean, we aren't going to drop rocks on him."

  "Gwenny is wearing a dress."

  Jenny laughed. Gwenny felt her dark face doing its best to blush. She was indeed in a dress, because she had deemed it to be more ladylike than jeans. Now she wished she had followed Jenny's example and settled for the jeans, because it would be a horrible disaster if anyone below looked up and saw the color of her panties. No one was supposed to know that they were goblin black. No male, anyway. Jenny knew, but not Che. She hoped.

  "Well, first we have to find it," Jenny said. "I'm not stepping out there until I'm sure there's something to step on." It seemed that there were not such things as invisible bridges on the World of Two Moons where Jenny came from, so she was slow to accept them. She found a length of wood that would do for a pole, and used it to poke along the edge of the cliff.

  When she passed the section where the path ended, without result, she extended the pole farther and tried going back. But there still seemed to be nothing solid. "Are you sure it's here?" she asked.

  Che took another stick and probed for the bridge himself, with no better success. "I must admit that it doesn't seem to be. Perhaps someone misdirected the path."

  "Who would do that?" Jenny asked.

  "Oh, anyone with mischief in mind. Perhaps Com-Pewter, the evil machine who can change reality. He's been in a snit, I understand, ever since his plot to make Grey Murphy his slave was foiled."

  "But how will we find it, if we can't see it and don't know exactly where it is?" Then she turned her head to address her cat. "No, I'm not setting you loose to find it, Sammy! I'm afraid you'll forget what you're after, and bound into the Gap." Sammy pretended he was asleep.

  Che shook his head. "I fear that finding it could take a long time. It will probably be better to walk on along the Gap until we come to the main bridge, which is both substantial and visible. I believe it is not unduly far out of our way. I can make us all lighter so that we will not get tired from the extra walk, and we can perhaps proceed more rapidly."

  They did that. They walked along the cleared region near the brink—it seemed that trees did not want to grow too close, lest they fall off—toward the west. It was fast going, because Che had flicked them, making each girl weigh only a fraction what she usually did. This co
uld have been dangerous when the winds were high, but this was a quiet day.

  They came to the main bridge—and paused, dismayed. There was a horrendous demon standing on it, blocking their way. The thing stood ogre tall, had tremendous tusks, and a glare so intense that the air in its path flickered and smoked.

  "I don't think that creature likes us," Jenny whispered.

  "But how can a bad creature be on a charmed bridge?" Gwenny asked, adjusting her spectacles to see it better. "There aren't supposed to be any hostiles along the magic paths."

  "The charm may not work well against demons," Che said. "Or the magic of the bridge may be weakening. We shall have to tell the Good Magician, so he can fix it."

  "But first we have to get to his castle," Jenny said. "And I don't think we're going to do it by crossing this bridge."

  "There is a third bridge," Che said, checking the map. "I suppose the sensible thing to do is go to it."

  Gwenny sighed. "I suppose so. But it is getting late."

  They walked on west, leaving the glowering demon behind. When they slowed, Che flicked them all, including himself, and they got lighter and faster.

  They came to the third bridge. It was narrow but looked solid. Jenny stepped toward it.

  "Wait," Che said. He took a stick and poked it at the planking. "I was afraid of that."

  "Afraid of what?" Jenny asked.

  "It isn't solid. See, the stick pokes right through it without resistance."

  "But the map shows it!" Gwenny protested, upset. "It's not supposed to be illusion."

  "It isn't. It's one-way—going the other way."

  "But we have to go our way!"

  "I am not certain of the mechanism of it," Che said. "I suspect that someone recently used it, and that it reverses after use, to allow the person to return, or just to be fair to the other side. We just happened to arrive at the wrong time."

  Gwenny stamped her delicate little foot. "Oh, this is so frustrating! Were I not the daughter of a chief, I would say something disreputable."

  "Perhaps Jenny could say it instead," Che suggested.

  "She's not royal, as far as we know. What expression did you have in mind?"

  "Big mice. Maybe even—"

  "Rats!" Jenny cried.

  The bridge trembled, smarting under the disreputable expression. Gwenny giggled, feeling better.

  Nevertheless, they could not cross. What were they to do? All three bridges had been denied them, and the day was fading.

  "Perhaps if I made us even lighter, we might walk down the face of the cliff," Che said. "We could not fall, or if we did, we would land so lightly we would not be hurt."

  "In that case we could just jump," Jenny pointed out Gwenny considered. "I suppose, if it's the only way."

  They stood at the brink, ready to be lightened. Then a gust of wind came, followed by another.

  "I just thought," Jenny said, "if we are feather light, couldn't that wind blow us away?"

  "Unfortunately it could," Che agreed. "I fear that our timing is wrong again."

  "But there has to be some way!" Gwenny exclaimed. "We have to reach the Good Magician's castle."

  "Perhaps we can go around the Gap Chasm," Che said. "The map indicates that it ends at the water."

  "Then how will we cross the water?" Jenny asked.

  "We shall have to fashion a raft or similar craft," Che said. "We should be able to do that in a day or so, if we can find suitable materials."

  "Oh, this is getting so complicated!" Gwenny wailed.

  "I could summon a winged monster," Che offered.

  "No! I have to get through this myself, or it doesn't count. I mean, with your help and Jenny's, but not with adults or monsters. Otherwise I won't have what it takes to be chief and might as well give up, and I absolutely refuse to do that."

  "We'll get through," Jenny said reassuringly.

  So they proceeded on west, and as the day expired they reached the shore of the sea. They scrounged for food, and found a pie tree with an overripe cherry pie and a somewhat soggy chocolate pie. It would have to do.

  Che found a deserted shed, and some old pillows. The shed seemed to have an old debug spell on it, because there were no bugs inside. They made themselves as comfortable as they could for the night, the two girls lying down on either side of the little centaur. "I don't mean to complain," Gwenny said, "but somehow I never thought about the awkward little details of adventuring. It's really more comfortable at home."

  "It's better than being a prisoner of the goblins," Jenny said. "I mean, when the Goblinate—"

  "I know what you mean," Gwenny said. "Male goblins are brutes. That's why I have to be chief, if I can. Then we'll try to be civilized."

  "I think it is my destiny to help you do that," Che said. "I am supposed to change the history of Xanth, and I think that will happen if you become the first female goblin chief."

  "I don't know about the history of Xanth, but I'll do my best to change the history of the goblins!" Gwenny said.

  "The goblins are a significant part of Xanth."

  They lapsed into silence, and then into sleep. But Gwenny was uneasy. She had no certainty that she could even manage to become chief, at her tender teen age, or that she could do the job thereafter.

  In the morning, shivering, they ale more aging pie and set about making a raft. The map indicated a copse of deadwood trees nearby, and sure enough, there was enough deadwood lying around to make several rafts. But how were they to tie it together? There seemed to be no suitable vines, unless they wanted to try to hack some from a tangle tree. They knew better than that!

  But Jenny had an answer. She addressed her cat. "Sammy, we are looking for some nice, strong, safe vines that are close by. Do you think you can find—"

  Sammy bounded away. "I'll follow him," Jenny said, hurrying after.

  There was a swirl of dust before Gwenny. She retreated, not trusting it, but it followed her. "There's something here," she said. "I think it's magic."

  Immediately Che came to join her. "That's a dust devil," he said. "But there's no dust. So it's probably a demon."

  A face appeared at head height on the swirl: two round eyes made from vortices of dust, and a mouth formed from a wriggling dust snake. "No, a demoness. What are you tankards up to?"

  "What?"

  "Cups, glasses, containers, bottles, mugs—"

  "Goblets?"

  "Whatever."

  "Nothing interesting," Gwenny said, hoping the demoness would go away. There was no point in correcting her about the distinction between a goblet and a goblette, or in reminding her that there was only one goblin in this party. They had enough problems without having them complicated by a supernatural creature. Demonesses were supposed to be less worse than demons, being mischievous rather than mean, but their mischief could be formidable.

  More of the form appeared. Smoky hair sprouted and curled downward. A larger swirl of dust became a voluminous skirt. There was nothing between the skirt and the head, but they were evidently connected. "I don't believe that. You seemed most eager to get across the Gap."

  Gwenny caught on. "That horrible demon blocking the way! That was you!"

  "Of course. That path is enchanted. A real monster couldn't be on it, but since I mean no harm and the menace was illusory, no problem. I just wanted to see what you'd do."

  "Gee, thanks," Gwenny said sarcastically.

  "You're welcome." Sarcasm was of course wasted on demons.

  Jenny returned, realizing that something was happening here. "A demoness?" she asked.

  The dust coalesced into a rather shapely figure of a woman. "Metria!" Che and Jenny exclaimed, almost together.

  "You know her?" Gwenny asked, surprised.

  "She pestered us when we were coming to Goblin Mountain," Jenny said. "She pretended to be Nada Naga, and talked to Prince Dolph."

  "Well, a winged centaur foal traveling with goblins and an outsized elf girl on the back of a sphinx was interesting,
" Metria said defensively.

  "Well, we're dull now," Gwenny said.

  "I doubt it. Why are three young folk traveling alone, when they are under the protection of the winged monsters?"

  "Because we're trying to learn to be independent."

  "And what would a long-haired goblin woman have to do with any of this?"

  "She's my mother," Gwenny said shortly.

  "So your mother left Goblin Mountain to come to the centaur family, and next day you three depart alone, going in another direction. You say that's not interesting?"

  Gwenny realized that Metria would not be denied. "If we tell you what we're up to, will you leave us alone?"

  "That depends. Let's make a different deal: if what you tell me is interesting, I'll tell you something interesting."

  Gwenny looked at Che. "Is that a good deal?"

  "It probably is," the centaur said. "I understand that Metria always honors her deals, and always tells the truth. But that often the deal doesn't turn out the way the other party thinks it will, and often the truth is rot what he wants to hear."

  Metria shot him a glance. "Even little centaurs are entirely too intelligent."

  "However," Che continued, "it will be necessary to obtain her commitment to privacy, because our mission is of a private nature."

  Metria grimaced. "That ruins half the fun of it. But secrets are more interesting than what everyone knows. I'll agree."

  "Very well," Gwenny decided. "I'll make that deal." For she realized that if their story bored the demoness, she would go away, and that was what they really wanted. "My father, Gouty Goblin, just died, and I have to try to be the first female goblin chief of Goblin Mountain. But I can't see very well without spectacles, and I'll never get to be chief if the other goblins know that, so I've got to get contact lenses instead. I'm going to ask the Good Magician where I can get them."

  "The first female chief," Metria said. "Does that mean your tribe of goblins will start acting civilized?"

  "Yes."

  "I can see that there will be no entertainment there. But of course you may not win the chiefship, in which case the goblins will continue to be interesting."