Esrever Doom Read online

  “I’m too little to have much history,” the child said, speaking well for her age. “I like eye scream, I don’t like bathtime, and I’m here because Mother is busy at Castle Roogna today so I need a babysitter even though I came on a mission of my own.”

  “You seem to have a very good understanding of your situation.”

  “Yes. I am very mature for my age.”

  “What is your mission here?”

  “I want to learn my magic talent.”

  Her magic talent. Could that relate? “And what is your talent?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “The Good Magician wouldn’t tell you?”

  “Yes.” Ione grimaced cutely. “So now I’m stuck here for the rest of the day until Mother picks me up tonight.”

  “Are you sure you have a magic talent?”

  “Yes.”

  “How can you be sure?”

  “Because all people in Xanth, except Mundanes, have magic talents. And the Good Magician told me I did. A really good strong talent, maybe even Sorceress level. He just wouldn’t tell me what.”

  “That seems unkind of him.”

  “Oh, he has a reason. He always has a reason. But it’s frustrating.”

  So far he did not seem to be learning anything useful. “Tell me about your mother, Princess Ida.”

  “She’s great! She can make anything true, just by agreeing with it. Only—”

  “Only?”

  “The one who says it mustn’t know her talent.”

  That was odd. “She can use her magic talent only if someone doesn’t know it?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then how does she ever use it?”

  The child focused. “When someone says something, like maybe the sky is blue, and she wants it to be true, she agrees.”

  “But the sky is blue.”

  “Yes. It’s a great talent.”

  Kody took stock. Was the child confused, or did her mother really have magic strong enough to change the reality of the color of the sky? It was becoming more important to know how these things were.

  “How is it your mother has such a great talent?”

  “Way, way, way long ago, Great Grandpa Bink helped the Demon Xanth, and he made all of Bink’s descendants Magicians or Sorceresses. Ida is a Sorceress.”

  “All of them? Then you must be a Sorceress too.”

  “Yes, maybe.”

  “I gather there are different levels of talents, and a Sorceress is at the top. Princess Dawn has a really powerful talent, knowing anything about any living thing she touches.”

  “Yes. Aunts Dawn and Eve are Sorceresses. Eve knows about anything not alive.”

  “I wonder if part of my Challenge is to figure out what your talent is? That might explain why the Good Magician wouldn’t tell you.”

  The little girl pursed her lips, considering. “Maybe so.”

  “Because maybe you can help me solve Lyre’s problem.”

  “Yes!” Ione agreed eagerly. “Figure it out now!”

  But Kody was cautious. There could be some better reason why the Good Magician had withheld the information. Maybe he didn’t want the child to have to serve for a year. Or maybe—

  He began to get a glimmer.

  “I saw it!” Ione said. “I saw the bulb flash! You got an idea!”

  “I think I did,” Kody agreed. “But it’s complicated.”

  Her little face clouded. “You won’t tell me?”

  He felt like a heel, yet he had to follow through. “Not yet.”

  “Why not?”

  Maybe he could explain that much. “Because I think your talent resembles your mother’s talent. It works only if the person with you doesn’t know it. So if I told you, you wouldn’t be able to use it. At least that’s my assumption. That would explain why the Good Magician wouldn’t tell you. So it’s for your own good.”

  “That’s what Mother says when she makes me take a bath! I hate it!”

  “I understand your frustration. Let me see if I can make your talent work, then I’ll tell you. Is that a fair compromise?”

  “You’ll tell me before you go?”

  “I will.”

  “Promise.”

  “I promise.”

  “Okay,” she agreed grudgingly.

  “Now I think I need to talk privately with Lyre.”

  “You’re pulling the dread Adult Conspiracy on me!” Ione accused him wrathfully.

  “I am not. This isn’t about se—” He paused. “Signaling the stork. This is about your talent.”

  “Oh, all right.” Ione stalked off to gaze out the window.

  Kody joined Lyre. “I am gambling that this will work if she doesn’t know her talent,” he murmured. “You will have to know it, to make this work.”

  “She can reverse curses?”

  “No. But we may, with careful management, be able to have a similar effect.”

  “You’re not making much sense yet.”

  “Here it is: I suspect she can do the same thing her mother can, creating reality.”

  “No, she can’t.”

  “How can you know that?”

  “Because talents never repeat. At least, not in the same generation. Not unless you’re a Curse Fiend. They all have the same talent of cursing.”

  Kody smiled. “Many men in Mundania have that talent also.”

  “Real cursing. Making bad luck.”

  “Anyway, this is different. A variation. What I think she can do is convert a lie to a truth, provided a key person doesn’t know her talent.”

  “And I’m a liar!” she breathed. “But that isn’t enough for me. I need to recover my lost memories, so I can function normally.”

  “Here is the key. Suppose she converts a past lie to the truth? What happens to your memory?”

  She worked it out, her face showing awe. “I think—I think it should undo the memory loss. Restore the memory.”

  “And if she continues to convert lies to truths?”

  “I’d get a string of memories restored! Oh, that sounds wonderful!” She stepped into him and kissed him. Xanth women seemed to do that. He wasn’t used to it, but did not care to make an issue. Not at all. “Thank you!”

  “Don’t thank me yet,” he warned, shaken by the kiss, which he had enjoyed. He simply wasn’t accustomed to being so readily moved by strange women. “It is only my theory, and I still don’t know how to implement it.”

  “I have a notion. I’ll tell her the lie, and—” She broke off.

  “And she’ll know her talent,” he finished. “That’s the tricky part. For this purpose we need her not to know it. After this session I will tell her; then there will have to be another person who doesn’t know.”

  “Maybe Burnice, next door,” she said. “She’s a nice person. I can feed her statements to relay to Ione.”

  “Well, let’s give it a try,” Kody said. “What’s the last lie you told?”

  “About the ravening monster next door.”

  He laughed. “And I believed it!”

  “My lies are persuasive. That’s why they cause so much mischief.”

  “That’s another thing: after you get out of this, you’ve got to stop lying! Otherwise you’ll soon be back in the hole.”

  She gave him a canny look. “Maybe I know the right lie to start. About my curse.”

  “About your curse? But she already knows about that.”

  “We’ll see.” She faced the girl. “Ione, we’re done with our nasty secret dialogue.”

  “About time!” the child grumped. “The only secrets I like are the ones I make myself.”

  “Of course, dear.” Lyre took a breath, nerving herself for the effort. “I’m going to tell you something, and I hope it doesn’t make you too mad.”

  “What, that you lied about how we’ll have eye scream after this is over?”

  Both Kody and Lyre repressed smiles. “Oh, no, dear! I wouldn’t lie about an important thing like that. No, this i
s different. It’s about myself. You see, I told you how I’m a constant liar, and am cursed to lose memories because of it.”

  “Sure. That’s why Kody’s here. To fix it.”

  “Well, here’s the thing. I’m not really such a liar. I hate lies, and never want to tell one. I had to pretend to be a liar so there could be a Challenge for Kody, but it’s not true. He figured that out, and now I have to come clean, even if it does spoil the Challenge.”

  Ione digested this. “You lied about lying?”

  “Yes, dear. Can you forgive me?”

  “Oh, sure. As long as you didn’t lie about the eye scream.”

  “I didn’t. So you believe me now? That everything I say will be the absolute truth?”

  “Yes, sure. I don’t much like lying anyway.”

  A peculiar expression crossed Lyre’s face. Kody realized that she was feeling the curse of lying depart, which would in turn stop her memory loss.

  So had she recovered a memory? Kody thought not; for this change in status she merely was not losing one.

  “And that ravening monster next door,” Lyre said. “That was not exactly—”

  “I’m sure there is one,” Kody said. “Otherwise I might just pass on through without winning the Challenge. Maybe we should take a peek to be sure.” He offered his hand to the little girl.

  “Okay,” Ione agreed. “As long as we don’t have to get too close to it.”

  Lyre looked perplexed, then caught on. Ione’s talent was to convert lies to truths, so calling them lies now would not do it.

  They walked to the edge and peeked. There was the ravening monster.

  Kody had never been happier to see such a thing. It meant he had solved the problem.

  They turned back. “I recovered a memory!” Lyre exclaimed, thrilled.

  “So now we can tell Ione her talent,” Kody said. “She will surely be happy to help you with other memories, as long as Burnice does not know.”

  Ione’s brow wrinkled. “Does not know what?”

  “That your talent is to make lies become truths,” Kody said. “As long as the person discussing them does not know your talent. That’s why the Good Magician did not tell you right away.”

  “To make lies truths? Isn’t a lie a lie no matter what?”

  “Not necessarily,” Kody said. “Not when there’s a Sorceress present.”

  She remained understandably perplexed. “How can a lie become truth?”

  “Maybe I can show you,” Kody said. He walked to the side. “Burnice! We can use your help.”

  “I’m not allowed to help you with your other Challenge,” Burnice protested.

  “My Challenge is over. This is something else.”

  “Very well.” Burnice walked toward them.

  “Now do not say a word about your talent, Ione,” Kody whispered. “It won’t work if she knows.”

  “Okay,” the child said doubtfully.

  “I am going to tell Burnice a lie. Lyre will agree with me, even though she knows it’s a lie, because she wants to help you understand and use your talent. That’s not the same as lying for personal gain or to make mischief. Lyre is not doing that anymore. You must agree with me also. Can you do that?”

  “Sure. For a good cause.” The child was quick to catch on.

  Burnice arrived. “What’s this about?” she asked.

  “There is a big tub of chocolate eye scream under your chair. May I fetch it for Ione? I’m sure she’ll share.”

  “There is no such thing!” Burnice protested. “It would melt!”

  Now came the key part. If this didn’t work, the whole effort was lost. “I say there is. Are you calling me a liar?”

  Burnice opened her mouth, plainly wanting to do just that. But she decided to be diplomatic. “Ione is welcome to anything you find under my chair.”

  “Thank you.” Kody marched out across her burned scene toward the chair. There was the tub! It really was filled with ice cream, however named. He picked it up and brought it back. “See? It was the truth.”

  “I’m truly amazed,” Burnice said, truly amazed.

  So were Lyre and Ione. And Kody, if the truth were told.

  “Now there may be other things you girls would like to discuss,” Kody said. “But I believe I have business in the castle with the Good Magician.”

  “You surely do,” Lyre said. “And that’s no lie.”

  “Now can any of you explain how that tub of eye scream got under my chair, unmelted?” Burnice demanded as Lyre served out portions.

  Lyre smiled. “We will in a moment. But first we want to amaze you with some of the fun things hidden around here, like a case of bottles of boot rear.”

  “And piles of candy,” Ione agreed.

  Kody left them to it as he walked to the edge. The ravening monster was gone, because it was no longer needed. In its place was a path leading to a door into the castle. He was at last gaining admittance. He hoped.

  4

  PARTNER

  A pleasant woman was waiting for him. “Hello, Kody,” she said. “I am Wira, the Good Magician’s daughter-in-law. We have been expecting you.”

  “Hence the Challenges,” he said somewhat wryly.

  “It is the custom. The Good Magician needs to be assured that you are serious and will not be readily dissuaded from your mission.”

  “Folk who aren’t serious come here?”

  “Oh, yes. It’s amazing how many people seem to want something for nothing. They think they can somehow finesse the Challenges, get advice from the Good Magician, then renege on their commitment for service. Just last week there were twins, Barbar and Barbara. His talent was to make folks’ hair shorter, hers to make it longer. They didn’t need any advice, they just wanted to see if they could get in to see the Magician and waste a bit of his time.”

  Kody appreciated the problem. There were folk in Mundania like that. “How did you handle it?”

  “The first Challenge was to get past a pool containing a kraken, a ferocious seaweed monster with thousands of hairlike strands. Making a few strands grow longer or shorter didn’t help; it only annoyed the kraken. They gave it up as a bad job.”

  “But isn’t there always a way through a Challenge?”

  “Yes. All they had to do was offer to style the kraken’s weed-hair attractively. But they were afraid to come close enough.”

  Kody was amused. He decided not to argue the case further. “I may not be in Xanth long, so probably need to get on with it.”

  “Of course. The Good Magician will see you soon. This way, please.”

  They came to a narrow, winding stone stairway. But a woman puffed into existence on the bottom step, barring their way.

  “Metria?” Kody asked, surprised.

  The features coalesced into an unfamiliar face and form. “Hardly. That nuisance is not allowed inside. I am Dara Demoness, the Good Magician’s Designated Wife for this month.” She turned to Wira. “Humfrey’s not ready yet. Something about a conflict of schedules. I’ll entertain the querent in the night room.”

  “I will check with the Good Magician,” Wira said. “I will come for you in the night room soon, Kody.” She started up the staircase.

  Kody realized there was probably a pun there: day room, night room. Puns were endemic in this crazy land; no wonder they needed to be cleaned out. He followed the demoness as she floated slightly off the floor, leading him to a dusky chamber. Stars shone in the dark walls and ceiling, but it was light enough for him to make his way without faltering.

  “Zosi, this is Kody from Mundania,” the demoness said. Now he saw that there was a young woman standing in the chamber. She was rather pretty, with shoulder-length gray hair to match her gray eyes.

  “Hello, Zosi,” he said.

  “Hello, Kody,” she answered shyly.

  “I think Humfrey—that’s the Good Magician—did not realize he had a scheduling conflict,” Dara said. “So both of you got set up to see him at the same time. Wira
will set that straight. She’s the only one who could. Sit down, both; I’ll bring refreshments.” She faded out.

  They sat on opposite sides of the room. Kody couldn’t help noticing that Zosi sat with her knees parted so that her legs were visible under her skirt. She did not seem to be a flirt, so it was more likely that she was distracted and careless. He could understand that, if her situation was remotely like his own. Which of course it couldn’t be, unless she was another dreamer.

  There was an awkward pause. Kody really did not know how to make small talk with a woman he didn’t know, but it seemed she was similarly limited. So he made the effort.

  “The— I’m new here—new to Xanth—and I don’t know what’s what. Can you tell me what ‘Designated Wife’ means, and why Wira is the only person who can set the Good Magician straight about a scheduling conflict?”

  Zosi smiled. That made her surprisingly warm. “It—it’s a long story, maybe dull.”

  With luck it would last until Dara returned with the refreshments. He smiled back. “I’m a fair listener, and reasonably dull myself.”

  She smiled again, appreciating the attempt at camaraderie. “The Good Magician is said to be really old. Over a century. He takes youth elixir to keep his physical age around one hundred. In the course of his life he outlived six wives—technically five and a half—that’s complicated—then finally went to Hell to get one back. Instead he got them all back at once. That was awkward, because in Xanth a man is supposed to have only one wife at a time. So now one wife is designated each month and the others remain clear. This month it’s Dara Demoness, who is a rare demon with a soul, making her decent as demons go. But the person who remains full time to handle castle details is Wira, Humfrey’s son’s wife. She seems to be the only individual he really likes, and indeed she’s just about the nicest woman in Xanth. He can’t say no to her. Normally he is insufferably grumpy, but never to her. So they let her handle anything awkward.”

  “Ah, now I comprehend. Very nicely put, Zosi.”

  She paused. “Oh, my! I’m blushing. I don’t know how to handle that.”

  A simple routine compliment made her lose her composure? “Don’t be concerned. Please. This is what girls do.”